31 oct 2012

today...

blueberries were on sale at publix so i got two packs. i don't think blueberries freeze well, so we're gonna be gettin' our berry on around here.

i forgot my garmin so i wore my regular timex when i went for a run. showered and whatnot, went back to work, et cetera. later at home i went to take off my watch and noticed it was still set on chrono.

two people i know got one dog. like, between them. to share.

just as many trick-or-treaters came to our house as came to our house last halloween. and, the halloween before that. and, the one before that one. and, the one before those two, too.

traffic on the way home was terrible and when i say terrible i mean terrible. so i exited the freeway before my exit and immediately got stuck on the secondary street. so i shifted to a secondary secondary and sat, sat, and finally managed to switch to a tertiary secondary. NO LUCK. anyway it was eventually over and i got the blueberries, arrived home to discover my chrono-fixated watch, received video of the shared puppyish dog thing, and hosted the comparably enumerated group of trick-or-treaters.

30 oct 2012

okay, you know what NYC? we get it. no offense, really. but We Get It. a superstorm blasted through your businesses, your neighborhoods, your homes. and, sure, those businesses are not just yours, they belong to all us because what you do is in a lot of ways the head of what we all do. HOWevah. do you seriously think we've never seen an uprooted tree? a flooded street? electricity out for miles? what the hell do you think we've been going on about all these years? ever heard of a tornado? flash flood? freaking ice storm??

hey. calm down. no one's denying it's a Very Big Deal, a complete disaster on a lot of levels. alls i am saying is, c'mon now... give us some credit for capacity to empathize.

29 oct 2012

knocking on doors.
i am knocking on doors.
and time is running out,
time is running out on me,
time is running out on me.
knocking on doors.

are you ready?
are you ready? let's sing.
are you ready?
are you ready? let's sing.

one and two. ten and twenty.
i smell success, and i ain't got any.
twenty and two. ten and one.
it's all over before it's half done.

are you ready?
are you ready? let's sing!
are you ready?
are you ready? let's sing!

hopscotch. hopscotch.
bring it on down.
bring it on down.
bring it on down.
hopscotch. hopscotch.
bring it on down.
all over town.
bring it down.

are you ready?
are you ready? let's sing!
are you ready?
are you ready? let's sing!

28 oct 2012

there's a difference between not lying and being truthful. if you're simply not lying, you can leave out a lot of stuff. you know, not give the big picture, conveniently forget the details. being truthful means coming clean, about everything, no matter how it makes you look. "honey, sorry that the car's out of gas. i just didn't have time to fill up." fine, okay, sure. what about "...didn't have time to fill up because i spent about three hours playing words-with-friends."? that's a little different, isn't it now?

27 oct 2012

A is for armadillo. today i saw a roadkill armadillo while i was running.

B is for basketball. today i heard people talking about the upcoming basketball season while we were watching the soccer game.

C is for computer. today i used a computer to balance my checkbook and pay a couple bills.

D is for donut. today i ate a donut!

E is for east. today my run took me east (and north, and south, and west).

F is for five. today i ran two times five miles.

G is for grape. today i ate one grape.

H is for house. today i spent time in my house.

I is for iphone. today i used my iphone to text, send email, and play games.

J is for jacket. today it was chilly so i wore a jacket.

K is for kashi. today for snack i had some kashi cinnamon cereal.

L is for listerine. today i rinsed my mouth with (generic) listerine.

M is for massachusetts. today my team, vanderbilt, crushed their football opponent, massachusetts, 49-7.

N is for nap. today i tried to take a nap but i couldn't fall asleep.

O is for oatmeal. today for breakfast i had irish steel cut oatmeal.

P is for picture. today i took a picture of my breakfast, but it wasn't very flattering so i kept it to myself.

Q is for queen. today i tried to spell 'queen' in words with friends but it didn't fit in the space.

R is for run. today i went for a run.

S is for soccer. today i went to a soccer game.

T is for tetris. today i played a couple games of tetris.

U is for unlock. today i didn't have a key to unlock a master lock so i could not let someone borrow the trailer.

V is for vitamin. today i took one multi vitamin.

W is for water. today i used up all the hot water when i took a shower.

X is for xylophone. today when i was getting out my garmin, i saw my xylophone mallets on the same shelf and thought about playing it, but didn't.

Y is for yellow. today at breakfast i used a honey bear with a yellow top.

Z is for zero. today i washed zero loads of laundry.

26 oct 2012

and just like that, it's over. this morning my carpool buddy said she can't carpool anymore. she's got to change her work schedule because of [insert big pile of life stuff here]. in theory, ride sharing is super - what with the gas saving and and being all conservationy and whatnot. in practice, ride sharing sucks giant donkey dongs. ride sharing takes longer than driving straight to work. ride sharing means someone messing with your radio, your temperature control system, your console arrangements. ride sharing brings someone putting makeup on in your passenger seat and getting makeup on your passenger seat. ride sharing brings crumbs and trash and forgotten possessions. ride sharing means another birthday to remember, another holiday gift obligation. ride sharing is How Was Your Day and You'll Never Guess and Did You Hear and just a general barrage of chittery-chattery conversation. yeah, i'll miss the cash that will have to be spent on additional gasoline, but i won't miss carpooling.

25 oct 2012

there is a food drive going on at my workplace. seems like there is always a food drive going on somewhere these days, and while i don't begrudge my fellowman a can of pork&beans and i do in fact know someone who makes his livelihood collecting and distributing (or, you know, raising financing for or somesuch) a food bank, i just have to wonder with all this collecting and distributing -- what has gone wrong with the basic underlying systems?

at any rate - workplace. food drive. thusly, whilst grocery shopping tonight, i purchased a few extra things. i am blessed or lucky or hard working enough (depending on how you look at it) to afford to be the giver instead of the getter. there but for the grace of god, though, eh? yeah.

this particular food pantry distributes food in a "grocery store" format. the clients don't simply get a prepacked box of this & that - they actually roam the aisles and select the particular items they want to have. now, c'mon. don't pretend your first reaction isn't "beggars can't be choosers". i know that's what i thought right off the bat, but then, being a bit of a food aficionado myself and having spent a great deal of time around extremely picky eaters, i got over myself and came to truly appreciate the strategy. i mean, sure, you're coming in there with your hand out for a handout, but if someone put a can of beets in that hand, would you be that much better off? just because you've fallen on hard times or maybe have had a lifetime of hard times doesn't mean you have to eat things you don't enjoy. this isn't les miserables, after all.

so, these folks come to the pantry and peruse the goods and make selections for themselves, maybe for their family. they look at the shelf and decide if they want to have this or that, that or this. sort of turns the tables, doesn't it now. i can't be getting just any old crap and slinging it at them. my selections are going to compete with selections from other people. naturally, i want my contributions to WIN. this is why i carefully chose two cans of low-sugar fruit cocktail (one of my favourites), two cans of low-salt lima beans (one of YOUR favourites [you know who you are!]), and two smallish cans of salmon. why salmon and not tuna? because, everyone deserves a salmon patty made out of actual salmon, at least once in a while.

24 oct 2012

in the locker room at work there are actually four rooms: lockers, sinks, toilets, showers. like a pair of fat pants where you're in a skinny season, the whole place is big in a way that our shrunken company doesn't fill out anymore. a dozen sinks, a dozen toilets... at any rate - cavernous.

the toilet room with its stall upon stall upon stall has a window that provides plenty of light. so, i'll turn out the light whenever i'm passing by - in, out, through (did i mention the rooms all connect?) - out goes the light. why? because i am an electricity conservator. HA. just kidding. i don't give a shit about all that and pluswise, it's not enough to make a difference, is it now. no, it is not. clearly, i am turning it off to mess with my coworkers.

i do the turning-off when i'm in the giant locker cave alone, see. sometimes i will still be in there when someone else comes in, sometimes not, but if i am there, i'll wait to find out if the person going in will turn the light on. there's plenty of light shining in from the window, see, so the fluorescent light's extra. some people will turn it on, some people will not. actually, most people will, very few people will not. pretty strange, really. why are they turning it on? habit, i suppose.

today i upped the ante. there's this fold-up "caution wet floor" sign that is sometimes in the doorway when they've been in there mopping. i brought it out and propped it in the middle of the doorway, turned off the light, and sat down on the bench in the area by the outdoors doors to check my email on my iphone. what? WHAT? okay, we both know i was waiting to see if anyone would come turn the lights on. two people came in. both of them stepped awkwardly around-over the sign (which weighs like 8oz and is easily moved) and neither one turned on the light. a few hours later, i was back up there to change clothes for an after-work run. the sign was still up, the light still off, and i watched another person come and go, negotiating the mid-doorway sign, leaving the light off.

i think this tells us everything we need to know about the effect of just a tidge of authority on the otherwise habitual behaviour patterns of perfectly normal people.

23 oct 2012

grapheme–color synesthesia and ordinal linguistic personification together explain why 1 is male. 2, female, 3 female, 4 and 5 male (although 5 has some feminine tendencies), 6 is a guy, 7 a girl (bit of a tomboy, that one), 8 and 9 and 10 are all male. january and february are male, march is a girl but april's a boy. may is female, as is june, but july is a guy. august is androgynous. september's a woman, october and november are boys, and december is somebody's grandmother. letters and numbers all have colours and also, personalities. 7 is a girl, she tries hard but can't always fit in, sort of a loner but not exactly lonely, has an apartment in the city. i am not shitting you. that is 7's story. 6 is a affable guy, lives in a small town, sits on several committees and councils, played football in high school, bit of a glory-days'er. 4 is trustworthy while 2 is shifty and secretive. 8 and 9 are a pair, what a handful they are! okay, i will stop, but see, that's how it is all up in here. and it's not just numbers and letters and months and days of the week -- inanimate objects get caught up in things too. that's why sometimes i am sad throwing things away. i am not a hoarder, mind you, but it's just that i'm sometimes concerned my grocery list will get lonely without me.

perhaps i have said too much....

22 oct 2012

if i had to guess i would say,
he's a couple years younger than me.
("than i.")
right.
couple years younger than i,
and back in the day he was tall
with blonde hair and blue eyes and--
(hazel.)
right.
hazel eyes and a smile that would melt your heart.
made all the girls giggle and blush
just to see him walk past
on his way to the ball field.
(basketball. court.)
whatever. you know what? you're kind of a pain.
i mean, i am just relating an antidote--
(anecdote.)
GAH! who cares? who cares??
go play with your trains.
now.
where was i?
(hell.)
well, lookie there. we agree.

21 oct 2012

yellow skirt
black shoes
footprints on the sidewalk
just an impression

and here i am,
coming home to a place i don't remember.
and you,
looking at me like i am some kind of zoo animal.

right now, this is the only thing i'm sure about.
let's just sit down, shall we?
please. please, sit down.

and you say, do i remember that time
at the place
with the thing
where the people were.

what if i say no?
what if i say: no, i don't remember.
would you still love me?
and, what if i do remember...
would i still love you?

are you honestly not going to leave me alone?

yellow skirt
black shoes
footprints on the sidewalk
just an impression

20 oct 2012

i am
hurtling through space
a mile a minute.

not more than
a few feet away to the left
or a few feet away to the right
another is
hurtling through space
a mile a minute.

on a pitch-dark freeway,
without a second thought,
i place my life at the mercy
of this unknown quantity
whom in another context
i wouldn't trust
to mind my purse
while i pee.

19 oct 2012

writer's block report card

get plenty of rest. -------------- D
lower your stress. --------------- C-
exercise. ------------------------ A
eat right. ----------------------- C+
read every day. ------------------ F
write every day. ----------------- A-

reassure yourself. --------------- A for effort
focus on your objectives. -------- early withdrawal
use creative writing prompts. ---- did not register

18 oct 2012

we are having the house remodeled. floors, windows, kitchen makeover, et cetera and so on and so forth. i will be sure and keep you up to date. today we met with the cabinet maker, and as thrilling as are handles and finishes, the real point of interest was the office park.

i've marked it here with a yellow circle. those red-marked roads? i have been on each of those myriad times, and some stretches on foot. did i know there were offices back there? sure. in theory. but now i know the reality - there are probably 200 suites back in there, and the guy we were meeting shares a suite with an appliance company. of course, some of the suites are for let, and most are one occupant, but still. 200 or so businesses just businessing away back in there with really no visibility from the surrounding roads. stealth, huh? just goes to show, you never know what you'll find until you look for it.

17 oct 2012

if your tummy be a'hurtin' -
you'll feel better, that's for certain -
if bismuth subsalicylate you chew -
it's just takes one, or maybe two.

(me feel yukky.)

16 oct 2012

the fullback's job is to clear the ball. if you can get it to a team mate, well good on ya, but if you cannot, then don't piss around with it. just send the damn thing up the pitch for crissakes. halfbacks can concern themselves with precision passing. strikers are useless prima donas. fullbacks, though, are the guards of the fortress. fullbacks matter.

15 oct 2012

my vision insurance plan provides $130 allowance for either spectacles or contact lenses, in alternating years. i thought this year was spectacles, but when i arrived at the ophthalmologist's office, the kindly scrubs-enrobed desk clerk informed me that, no, it is contact lenses year. (why do they wear scrubs? they are not doing scrubby work.) so, contact lenses. super. i ordered three boxes and turned to go. just before i reached the door, i remembered that i wanted to get my spectacles adjusted. i turned around and asked clerky mcscrubbs to adjust my spectacles. she was like, oh sure no problem okay. she took my spectacles into the back room so i stood there at the desk like a tree or something on account of not being able to see AT ALL without my specs. clerky mcscrubbs returned, i put my spectacles on, and i was thinking that she didn't change them much, but whatever. they felt a bit tighter. i thanked her and left the shop and went out the door and nearly fell down the steps. ooooops. haha. um... okay, i tried again and made it down the steps but at the bottom i was like, what is wrong with my spectacles?? the lenses had something on them. i was like, great, thanks fat finger fergie with your thumbs all up in my lenses's grill. so i went back inside and asked clerky mcscrubbs to scrub my lenses and she did but nope, still messed up. more scrubbing. nope. i was like, something is wrong with these spectacles. clerky mcscrubbs went and got the technical clerk and that was the last i saw of clerky mcscrubbs. so. tech chick took one look at my spectacles and said, something is on these lenses. (right no shit tech chick!) she took my specs to the machine they use to heat up the frames to make adjustments and discovered the bubbly pox on my lenses precisely matched the size and shape of the silicone pods in the well of the machine. ha. clerky mcscrubbs had podded my lenses.

jeez.

what a spectacle.

14 oct 2012

if i could run
forever,
would you follow
me?

if i set sail
would you set sail,
across the deep blue sea?

if you had never met me
would you fall asleep at night
dreaming dreams
of you and me?

just tell me that you might.

13 oct 2012

when he walked, he walked straight away,
and he promised that he wouldn't be returning.
he told her she could cry every day,
he was done with her tears and her yearning.

the sun doesn't really go down,
it's an illusion of the earth's constant turning.
if you look it's right there to be found,
same as ever, hot as hell, always burning.

she watched as he passed 'round the bend,
and considered the lesson he'd be learning.
she knew that he'd be back again -
night is cool, but the sun's always burning.

the sun doesn't really go down,
it's an illusion of the earth's constant turning.
if you look it's right there to be found,
same as ever, hot as hell, always burning.

12 oct 12

is that what you want for me,
what you want me to be,
what you wish you would see,
when you look into me?

11 oct 2012

on NPR tonite i learned about a salvadoran gang called MS-13. they are somewhat established in 40 US states. maybe you've heard of them? anyways, altho they're not especially powerful or well organised in the states, the federal reserve has declared MS-13 an international criminal organisation. this means they can't legally process any money at any US bank, which i'm sure'll really cut down on this activity as they probably all are using their gang ID to cash checks and whatnot. right?

also learned that altho they're not especially powerful in the states, that is to say there're other more powerful gangs, in el salvador they're so powerful, the government has made a truce with them. a TRUCE. with a GANG. makes you go sort of omg what's going on down there?? bad stuff apparently -- since the truce, murders are down 50%. fiddy. perCEN.

damn.

10 oct 2012

from here where i am sitting i can see you
although you are a thousand miles away.
your eyes, your hair, your pealing childlike laughter
absorb me in the twilight of the day.

i never would have thought you would have left me.
i never would have thought it'd end that way.
thoughts i never thought before the thoughts i'm thinking now
absorb me in the twilight of the day.

without you on a ferry in the harbor,
remembering what things we didn't say.
imagined conversations in the rooms inside my head
absorb me in the twilight of the day.

i hope you find contentment in your new life,
that is really all that i can say,
as measuredly disguisèd thoughts of vengeance
absorb me at the closing of the day.

9 oct 2012

sesame street is an entire industry. shows, toys, clothes. hell, kermit has a recording contract, and ernie & bert sell futons at ikea.

does ikea sell futons?

right, whatever. the point is that big bird decidedly does not need my tax dollars and in fact, could probably carry several other PBS shows and click&clack to boot. (click&clack are on NPR, the radio arm of NPM, national public media, which includes the teevee stuff, the radio stuff, and some or all of the online stuff).

where was i?

you can purchase sesame street clothes at target, sesame street toys at kmart, and in fact, here is a cookie monster belt buckle you can purchase from sesamestreet.org, because what doesn't say "good clean kids fun" like a wide mouth monster on your crotch?



okay, i hear you. what about the educational programmes? well, in case you haven't noticed, NPM is covered up with brought-to-you-bys because a bunch of that shit is sponsored by corporations and foundations and plain on regular folk who are looking for a tax shelter. oh, you know it's true. nobody really likes "splendid table" -- they're just looking to beef up their schedule-A (or equivalent IRS paperwork for corporations and foundations).

i've got nothing against big bird. i just don't believe he needs my tax dollars.

8 oct 2012

here's something i don't understand: the opposition to legalising marijuana.

washington state, oregon, and colorado have full legalisation on the ballot this fall. that's right, i said FULL. not "medical marijuana" - no no no. we are talking rocky mountain high as a kite and just for the hell of it.

anyone who knows anything about the whole "medical marijuana" thing knows the only difference here is that we're being honest. it's not like californians can't get the ol' smokie tokie with the mere slightest of expressed need.

early polling in these three states reveals the majority populations of all three agree with me.

why?

BECAUSE I AM CORRECT.

7 oct 2012

i don't know what you know.

what you don't know i do.

you do not know

where i go,

and likewise me for you.

it doesn't really matter.

in the end it's all the same.

lemongrass and monkeyshines,

there's nothing in a name.

6 oct 2012

a wise man once said - there is a dimension of the pure freedom of thought that pushes beyond justification, responsibility, necessity, and usefulness.

it's common knowledge that children need unstructured playtime and aimless action to learn how the world works, how the pieces fit together. why do we imagine it's any different for us grown-ups? we're so busy with our imagined productivity that we forget the productivity of imagining. thoughts which lie beyond application are deemed without value. aimless mental wandering without immediate purpose is condemned. we're just so damn consumed with Getting Something Done.

have you ever been struck by inspiration in the shower or while falling asleep? when we allow our minds to be free, they can surprise us by making connections over-here that we've been struggling to make over-there. a whole new insight comes when we get out of the way of our synapses.

somewhere between Getting Something Done and the inspiration in the shower is a place of mental play, where the mind is powered up, tuned in, and exploring. that's the place we don't allow ourselves to go often enough. without immediate payoff or innate justification, this place makes us uncomfortable... which is all the more reason to go.

5 oct 2012

i am an advocate of personal responsibility. i believe in the sanctity of marriage. i support states' rights.

let's begin with the much-maligned concept of personal responsibility. this worthy construct is become a code-word for the teach-to-fish/give-a-fish dichotomy. we all know it's not ultimately helpful to simply give folks fishes, but what people conveniently ignore in espousing the former is that someone has to give the fishing lessons. simply strutting about declaring "get your own fish!" won't accomplish anything. self-supporting fishers need: well-stocked fishing locations, fishing equipment, time to go fishing, and knowledge. even then, some people are just terrible fishers, but still, you've got to have the stuff, right? there are plenty of places to go and purchase fishing equipment, and the folks there will gladly tell you how to use it. they're happy to have another fisher on the lake. there's an enviable camaraderie amongst the fisherfolk. all that said to say - personal responsibility means we're all personally responsible for ourselves and personally responsible for each other. the smallest building block of any society is one person. participation in and commitment to the betterment of the lives of our fellow fisherfolk is the most effective way to strengthen society. we need to take personal responsibility for each other.

when two or more folks come together, you have a common household, which brings us to our next loaded phrase: the sanctity of marriage. home is the building block of society, so we owe it to each other to maintain strong homes. society has a stake in ensuring that people who live in a home environment support and care for each other, do not tear each other down, and don't use their own strength to tear others down. this is done not by telling folks what they cannot do, but by incenting them to behave circumspectly and to treat others with dignity. the sanctity of marriage doesn't dictate who gets to marry whom. man and woman? fine. two women? fine. two men? fine. one man and two women? see... this is also acceptable IF it meets the criteria of support and care. but because polygamy is ripe for abuse, society has deemed it unacceptable. we as a society cannot well protect the weak in this scenario, so we've got to rely on regulation. okay, i am probably poorly making this point. i'm trying to distinguish between the types of home-life scenarios into which society is obligated poke its nosy self, and which it is not. it comes back to taking personal responsibility for the well being of each other without judging the circumstances from which that well being arises. clearly, i am verging a dash down a rabbit-hole here, so i'll stop myself.

the last loaded phrase for today is: states' rights. this term got all loaded with bile and venom during the civil war and the civil rights eras because it's been used as a curtain to hide discrimination. not only is discrimination shameful, but it's a shame that the worthy construct of local governance has been sullied thuswise. i realise that i'm more involved and aware of the world now, so i am not 100% sure it wasn't always this way, but it seems to me we hear a lot more about the federal government now than we do about our local. who sits on the city council? school board? county commission? who's your mayor, governor, state representative? federal government obviously has its place in a federation, but just as the home is the cornerstone of society, local government is the cornerstone of government. i am fairly certain the reason that we don't hear more about city or county governments is that they defer to the states, and in turn, the states defer to the federation. local governance is a form of personal responsibility but nobody wants to do it because it takes too much time and effort. it's hard work. but, if we would all step up just a bit and share the load... well, you see where i am going here.

i am an advocate of personal responsibility. i believe in the sanctity of marriage. i support states' rights.

4 oct 2012

23 years is a really long time.

3 oct 2012

bunnies don't need medicare.
lions don't have jobs.
horses and cows and chickens and sows -
comes to budgets? they're slobs.
hummingbirds don't have voting.
sharks don't have a debt.
snakes and bees and monkeys in trees -
comes to defense? they're set.
maybe you see where i'm headed,
maybe you don't understand,
so i'll come right out and tell you:
seems beasts are brighter than man.

2 oct 2012

it isn't that i mean for things to come out like they do,
that's just the way they are inside my head.
take it, babe, or can leave it doesn't matter which you choose -
still, i say the stuff what needs be said.

yesterday's tomorrow is tomorrow's yesterday,
but you knew that one already i would bet.
thoughts like hopscotch froggie balls are leaping down the way,
what's next could be the one, the best one yet.

but you have since stopped listening to what i'm saying here,
you're bored and moving on to something else.
ironic that you are the one who sought me out, my dear.
in conclusion nothing really rhymes with else.

1 oct 2012

why baby why baby why
why baby why baby why
why do you lie baby why
why baby why baby why

go not my way go your way
say say what you say what you say
it stops right here now today
go not my way go your way

why baby why baby why
why baby why baby why
why do you lie baby why
why baby why baby why

you dare not have care do you dare
up up in the air in the air
where isn't it fair it's not fair
you dare not have care do you dare

why baby why baby why
why baby why baby why
why do you lie baby why
why baby why baby why