post the forty-sixth, 2013

alpharetta amaretto amarillo armadillo

eh?

what?

SO.

last night i had a massage and it was the best damn massage i ever had. i credit this to its not being a frou-frou spa massage but rather having as its identity: sports massage (at the gym).

but, i am getting ahead of myself.

as i have explained before, i've been disappointed before. i had pretty much decided not to ever have another massage.

AND THEN... then my old man gets this free massage at the gym and he is all, they are decent, and i am all, mmmmm... maybe.

AND THEN... he pays for one, and he is all, they are worth paying for, and i am all, mmmmm... maybe.

AND THEN... he purchases a groupon for more gym massages and he is like, do you want to use this? i am all, mmmmm... okay fine.

all day long, i am looking forward to the experience. this is the exact opposite of my usual dread -- composed of half dreading the massage and about 75% dreading the Spa Experience. the much-touted Spa Experience is supposedly meant to make one feel pampered, but for me it's more flashbacks to 11th-grade-worthy angst. NO I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT I AM JUST NOT A SPA GIRL LEAVE ME ALONE.

anyway.

hope springs eternal and i am looking forward to it. the appointment is for 19:45, so i have plenty of forward into which to look. finally the appointed time arrives, and i arrive at the gym, and the cute, young, athletic masseuse is eating a cookie. haha, she apologizes, sorry! i am like - hey, girl, have that cookie and don't be touching me with hungry hands. so she finishes the cookie while i finish the paperwork.

and then she spends an hour working the kinks out of my lower back and legs. that's right SHE LISTENED TO ME. among other things, she climbs on the table to stretch my hamstrings. frou-frou spa masseuses don't climb on tables. HA! it is great, relaxing, helpful to my poor tight legs, and at the end i am equal parts relaxed and thrilled she had done as i requested.

i go to the desk to collect my complimentary rehydration formulation (i.e., bottled water)... feeling patchouli'ish... and she hands me a receipt and i blithely pay it. thanks. my pleasure. see you later. okay sure. bye. bye.

(it isn't until i get home that i remember i was supposed to use the groupon and not pay anything at all.)