23 jul 2012

after i returned from today's run at utterly hellblazing hotness of heat midday, i stepped into the fitness center showers to rinse off the salt and sweat. i was just lah-lah-lah taking a shower when i felt a crawlie-ish feeling on my ankle. i presumed this to be a tired muscle having a shiver or perhaps a stream of water or somesuch. i shook my leg and it stopped. then, i glanced at my ankle to confirm it was indeed okay and caught site of a bug in the corner of the shower. so, the crawlie-ish feeling could be attributed to an actual crawling thing -- good, right? i mean, nice to know i am not crazy and whatnot.

except that this bug was the size of a collie and nearly as excitable. he was running all over the place, back and forth, looking for a way out of the shower. "what's the matter, lassie? did you fall in a well?"

so i am dancing around trying to stay out of his way and i yelled at him to GET OUT OF MY SHOWER - a command which, oddly, he did not obey. after a moment, i realised that he could not scale the 4" slick tile rim around the shower and was in a panic to get out because of the water flooding down on him. so, i turned off the water, stepped out, and waited for him to leave.

and, waited.

and, waited.

and, he sort of settled in down by the drain like he was fixing to have a nice little nap. bloody hell! i considered smacking him with my showershoe, but he was big enough to fight back, so i thought i would be better off to lure him out. to accomplish this luring scheme, i realised, i would have to give him something tractionable to further his wall-scaling efforts.

thinking with my usual creative alacrity, i pulled about 6ft of paper towels from the handy wall dispenser and draped said paper across shower floor, up 4inch wall, across outside-of-shower floor. he wasn't interested. so, i commenced to move this paper bridge around trying to get his attention, flopping it this way and that, and it's getting wet, and i am starting to smack it all over the shower floor, and now he's scared of it and keeps running away.

so, i stopped flailing it around, placed it gently in bridge formation, turned the shower back on to drive him to the bridge, and hid on the other side of the wall waiting for him to, i don't know, march over the bridge like brad pitt in 'meet joe black'. when it became obvious that this wasn't going to happen, i tugged gently on the bridge, pulling it slowly towards me, slowly, slowly, sslloowwyy.... until YIKES! he's coming right at me!

i flung the paper towels across the room, jumped in the shower, and the rest is history.

bug: