post the hundred-fortieth, 2013

when you're dating a boy, there's a thing that happens when he's driving you somewhere in the dark. just to the movie maybe or home from the date. anywhere at night. boys tend to drive fast and reckless -- they just do -- and when you add the incentive of a girl to show off for, you'll get some actual dangerous situations. so while that's going on with the boy, the thing as a girl is there's a sort of thrill in trusting a stranger to keep you safe. if you've never felt this, you might not be able to understand, but it's not a bad feeling at all. i'm sure it's this thrill of placing your trust in a stranger that gets girls into all sorts of trouble and i'm just as sure it's some sort of survival-of-the-fittest thing. girls have a primal need to trust the dangerous boy because he represents the strongest gene pool. something. anyway. the thrill of trusting a stranger to keep you safe is one of the things that makes dating so exciting and makes girls not care if boys drive recklessly while they're in the car. in fact, it's more than "not care"... it's like a girl wants a boy to be reckless while simultaneously keeping her safe. 

but. 

what about 5, 12, 20 years later. there's no thrill in a familiar man's reckless driving. it's at best mildly annoying and at worst, it's fodder for the sort of perennial fight only long-committed folks can pull off. so one of the very things that attracted you to him is now supremely unattractive. 

but the car is dark and if you don't talk there's an excellent chance he won't. just relax. let it go. listen to the radio and choose to forget you know the man beside you. 

you might be surprised how easy it is to brush the dust off that old feeling, how closeby it's been, and how easily you can experience that thrill again.