14 may 2012

and then i thought to myself, i should call and tell her how happy i am to be slated for the canoeing dock for summercamp this year and how we need to plan for her to come visit me there. then, i remembered she's dead.

that's how it works. unabated oppressive remembrance pocked by periodic bouts of fleeting amnesia, amnesia so quick that the forgetting is over before you remember that you forgot, and all you're left with is the eternal remembering. the forgetfulness has flown and you're lucky if you see the tail of it's trenchcoat as it turns the corner of your mind, speeding its way down the axon-hall to do its dirtywork on the list of groceries you were supposed to pick up on the way home.

forget what you want to remember, remember what you want to forget.