post the hundred-eleventh, 2013

i found this in a pile of old stuff. yeah, i am a bit of a digital packrat, but if it's words (not pictures or music) it doesn't take up all that much space. anyway, the point is that i found this in a pile of old stuff and DAMN i used to be funny.

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Common Knee Pain Issues

Whiner's Knee

Described as a painful, often debilitating condition characterized by tightness, "clinching", and pain. Studies have shown that there are no discernable outward symptoms such as swelling or bruising, and medical professionals cannot detect damage, stress, or swelling in the knee area. The one singular symptom, pain, is reported by the patients (see psychosomatic). This condition falls in the class of "anteactivitus excusarius", or by the more common term: "excuses before activity". This is a general term encompassing many conditions (see performance anxiety). Conditions in this group include: golfer's thumb, test-taker's pencilitis, and wife's headache. These conditions manifest themselves in such a way as to provide a mitigating circumstance to a perceived or foreseen poor performance. Whiner's Knee should not be confused with the less common, but more acute, Miner's Knee, developed from long hours stooping in the coal mines; or, Shriner's Knee, developed mostly in middle-aged overweight males who ride miniature cars or miniature motorcycles in parades.