post the eighty-eighth, 2013

did you know that when they fit you for prostheses, it's not a one-time thing? for the first six months or so after the original fitting, they tighten and tighten it down until the point where it can be replaced by a more-permanent piece. why? because during those months, your unused muscles shrink bit by bit until you're left with the stub you'll be left with.

hmm? what's that? don't want to talk about it?

well, you can look away, can't you.

i was listening to npr the other day, and they had a story about one of the people injured by the bombing at the boston marathon. she's a woman, about my age, lost both her legs. she talked about letting her anger go, not letting the bombers have that power over her life, and i hope for her sake that's actually possible. her grown daughter was injured, too, lost a foot, i believe. the daughter was having more of a struggle with her anger. it's only natural.

the mom's doctor talked about the injuries and fitting the prostheses, which is where i got that info above. then, he said a major concern is "not to let the patient lose her aerobic fitness". that just struck me like a fucking ton of bricks, like oh my god. was she a runner? one of the marathon runners? oh my god.

i mean, okay, not like there's a difference - one person or another, legs are legs, i completely get that -- that's not what i am talking about. i am talking about a fellow runner, a lady my age. do you have any idea how difficult it is to hold onto aerobic fitness when you get this age? no, you probably don't. well, it's much harder than it was 20 or 10 or even 5 years ago. it just gets harder and harder, and if you care about it at all, you cherish it every day and nurture it every day. it's like a thing, like a concrete thing, like a pet or something. to think about losing it. shit.

but more than anything -- there she was at that place on that day, and that was her last time to stand on those legs. just like that. plans for another marathon? oh, sorry. tae-bo? yeah... no. thinking about that ballet class? think again.

damn.

i don't know... just don't put shit off, is all.