6 aug 2012

channeling my inner 14-year-old, i accepted a baby sitting job tonight. this time, it's not a relative or a neighbor kid or kids of friends of my parents -- no, this time it's a soccer teammate's son. when i was 14, parents were not my peers. and of course, compared to my teen years, i now have a bit more on-the-job type experience with the actual human babies. but no matter how much experience you have it's not exactly fun to sit and listen to a baby cry himself to sleep. there's so much raw need in that sound they make when they're desperately tired and their nose is maybe a tad stuffy and they're starting to teethe. still... i leave him there and eventually he quiets down and as soon as he does, i'm wondering if he's okay. making noise, i'm anxious. quiet down, i'm anxious. these days, tools of the trade have evolved and nursery is equipped with a video monitor, so i can look right there on screen and see his tiny arm move and his tiny chest rise and fall. it's not like i have to go in there and put my hand on his chest. it's not like i have to... but i will.